So I failed miserably at doing a lot of serious work this weekend. Tried, but blocked. I'll have to play catch up this week. Work more.
*sigh*
It happens. Hopefully, tomorrow things will flow smoother.
In the meantime, Water Tribe reworked pages.
The only major change happened in the Nauja and Zhao fight. Skuffle. Whatever you want to call it.
In the first panel of page 118, I was really tempted to add in a caption for Zhao's thought.
I then decided to let the reader make it up instead.
I'm so glad I'm not writing prose- I would have had to write it and possibly mess it up.
*sigh*
It happens. Hopefully, tomorrow things will flow smoother.
In the meantime, Water Tribe reworked pages.
The only major change happened in the Nauja and Zhao fight. Skuffle. Whatever you want to call it.
In the first panel of page 118, I was really tempted to add in a caption for Zhao's thought.
I then decided to let the reader make it up instead.
I'm so glad I'm not writing prose- I would have had to write it and possibly mess it up.
- Current Location:Burbank
- Current Mood:
blah - Current Music:Watching "Planet Earth"
Page Summary
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Comments
UNTIL TODAY :D
i read the whole thing and it got up to nauja and zhao's fight. i was bummed to have to wait for new pages.
THEN YOU UPLOADED THESE.
and pretty much made my day <3
And you will always have to wait for new pages. That's the curse of the darn thing.
aghh the motions are all so flawless :
Hmmm...I always think I could tweak the poses. Forever and forever tweak them. Got to let go at some point though.
Thank you! I see Sozin also approves. Must be the last, firebending panel.
On p. 120, you might want to move her "why?" over a little, to show even more that it's "first little panel, then big panel, then second little panel" as the flow of conversation?
p. 122: I'd use "until he arrived" instead of "until he'd arrive".
Hee! The poor vase! O:D
The YOU CAN'T FIREBEND panel rocks. And one could feel a little sorry for the poor blighter. Just a little. Broken vase and all that. On the other hand... SOLD NAUJA BABIES! HE MUST PAY!
*squees at you in general, and especially for that wordless Zhao(ka?) panel and the last one there*
Will change for 122.
Lao got all his views on the value of human lives screwed up during the war. It doesn't excuse him at all, mind you.
And Lao did. And it doesn't excuse him at all.
Does he realize he's risking burning down his storeroom of Precious Things, in that glorious firebird of flame? O:D
(or maybe that's why he throws Zhao out in the next page)
Wonderful action as always!
Ok...so I'm totally pumped for the next page(s)! I'm just kind of like "Aaaaaaa Nauja be careful! Aaaaaa Zhao look out!" xDDDD -SUSPENSED-
btw, aren't you about to post a comic on the web? Did I dream that up? Looking forward to it, if I didn't imagine it :D
And yes! I'm doing a couple actually. I'm working on some side comics...which are just mini comic ideas filled with...lots of randomness and retardation. And they mostly have the main Avatar characters. Then there's the actual comic I'm working on with a couple of friends that's geared more toward a future generation (long after the war ends, Aang dies and the air nation repopulates, etc). The first page has actually already been posted on my DA C:
http://koalakitty23.deviantart.com/art/Avatard-Adventures-Ep-1-1-85161268
I love the expressions an the action, it's so clean and expressive.
(or is that my fault...naaaaah)
Thank you :)
This reminds me of the moment where Horuk puts an end to Zhao's South Pole freakout by his words just as much as the knife to the neck.
There's so much action in your comic, the silent moments really shine. I also love the bit at the end of the story where Zhao, unconscious, regains his firebending. The image of the boat on fire, which we barely see, reminds me of a viking funeral, where the warrior is rewarded in the afterlife.
Will he learn any lessons in the long run, who knows.
Some small suggestions - (they're usually to emphasize a bit more drama and/or suspense - or for more contrast to panel flow)
116 - pn. 1 - Bigger figure, touching left side of panel - pn.2- expression of surprise
117 - nice!
118 - More tense expression on Zhao, pn. 1
119 - Very nice - pn. 2 - same bg and size as pn. 1 (slapstick effect)
120 - A lot of 180%-ish movement, but interestingly done.
121- Very nice
122 - Replace pn. 4 with pn. 5 and vice versa.
123 - Very nice.
124 - Super.
All the best on catching up!
Skylark
I do notice your suggestions of swapping panel order very often. I was wondering if there was a storytelling reason for that? A sort of pacing logic? It very well could be something I don't know, since I'm learning comics as I go along. If you do have some knowledge of it, I would be very glad to hear! Any good reasons to learn more :)