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End of part 2, revisions.

More new pages, now with added Iroh!
(any reasons to draw more Iroh is a good one).

A bit tired, slight headache. I will go take a little break, and I promise I will answer anyone that has sent me a pm later today. I am running late on answering comments here and on DA. In fact, I don't think I'll manage to catch up on DA. I'll have to answer a few and delete the rest. *sigh*
Really getting more tired than I thought.

I should be getting the mini comics next week! Ali and Foxy, I think I'll mail you your copies when I get them, just so I end up carrying a bit less books for NYCC. Gotta think of my old back.
NYCC is as slow announcing their programming as Nick is in advertising the rest of season 3 of Avatar. I'll never understand...I know it is probably more complicated than it seems, so I refrain from growling too much.

In a last Water Tribe related news, yesterday I got hit on the head with a second, alternate ending for the last part...and I think I may go with that one. It's shorter, more concise, ties up a loose end or two better. I think.


( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 30th, 2008 12:33 am (UTC)
Awesome, really awesome. The last line strikes me in just the right way, I think. ^_^
Someday I'll have to go back and read this chronologically, because jumping in and out of reading LJ's sort of takes away from the reading experience.

And hehe, if you're handing out Zhao-related things at NYCC, is there any way I can reserve a copy? >_>
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:28 pm (UTC)
At one point, all of these will be all posted chronologically (thank you noselfcontrol club on DA!)

If by Zhao related thing you mean handing out pieces of cake, I'll make sure to keep a slice for you ;)
Mar. 30th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
"I am going back to Ba Sing Se!!" I love that line and how Iroh looks when he says that. Your characterization of Iroh is spot on.

On page 5, last panel--Beside=besides?
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)
Corrected the "besides" thing (now I know the difference! Woo!)
Haha, I kept thinking of Iroh with the monkey statuette when I drew that pose.
Mar. 30th, 2008 03:17 am (UTC)
I think you're right, this ending is tighter.
(And you tease! Only a distant shot of Zuko! =ppp)
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)
Better a distant shot than no Zuko, right?
Mar. 30th, 2008 03:26 am (UTC)
All kinds of awesome -

p. 89 - cool
p. 90 - great page
p. 91 - panel 2 = cool
pp. 92-95 - awesome

Minor quibbles and small suggestions -
The old dude is pointing his finger for 3 straight panels - a little much? Replace panel 1 of p. 92 with panel 1 of p. 94 and vice versa, because p. 94 is a wider scene establishing shot, nice to have it earlier - p. 95 - make panel one a little narrower to have the 3 panels progressively enlarge for the zoom out...


Mar. 30th, 2008 11:34 pm (UTC)
Some excellent suggestions (I think I'll bring Iroh's arm down in the big panel, he has been pointing for an awful long time, ha ha!)
Hmmm...a bit late to switch some panels around (unless one day, I ink the darn thing...), but you're right- I should have shown the room earlier on. I think I can make a bit of photoshop magic on page 95- as you suggested, it would be nice if there was a zoom out fx.

I'll put the reworked pages on DA. Many thanks for your input, all excellent suggestions and very appreciated.
Mar. 30th, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
Man, I have no idea when Canada's even airing new Avatar episodes, so I get my fix from you! What a quality fix it is.
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:31 pm (UTC)
Right now, YTV is not showing anything new, though they do have two episodes more than the US broadcasted so far. (3-12 and 3-13).
Hopefully, more news on new episodes soon. I do need my Avatar fix too!
Mar. 30th, 2008 07:25 am (UTC)
♥♥♥ to your Uncle Iroh. :)
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you- I had almost forgotten how fun he is. I should draw him more often.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
I wasn't sure what the right expression was- dang you bilingual brain!!
Well, the conspirators didn't really want to have Zhao in their ranks. That is explained much later, in part 3, when there's a nice conspirator reunion :D
Mar. 30th, 2008 08:15 am (UTC)
Love that ouside-window shot of Iroh! I learn something new every time I look at your work <3 Overall, a really nice edit/ update... I agree that letting these pages breathe more really adds a lot to the pacing and story.

Now take a break! So you can be fresh for the next batch of pages X3
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:41 pm (UTC)
That's one thing about dialogue scenes- trying to break some monotony by trying to find another angle. Sometimes, looking in or out of someplace is good. Doesn't always work, but...
Say for example in your story when Amen opens the drawer, you could have a camera shot from inside the drawer. Stuff like that.
Me, take a break? Pfft! Never! But there is one drawing I must must must do for someone, so I'll get right on that. Must get it ready for NYCC. That's going to be my break from Water Tribe.
Mar. 30th, 2008 08:16 am (UTC)
Iroh! He's just got too much awesome for the Fire Nation!

Zhao looks so happy on the last page...
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:42 pm (UTC)
Iroh is too awesome for the WORLD!!
Ah, Zhao is happy! He's finally up in rank and in command of a boat. Life is sweet (for now).
Mar. 30th, 2008 01:56 pm (UTC)
The seal still says "Ozai" on it. Do you mean it that way? ;)
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:38 pm (UTC)
Ha ha, I wasn't quite sure which symbol was "Ozai", and rather than fudge with it, left it as is.
Here's me, hoping 99% of people wouldn't be able to read it too much. Which shows that I'm terrible at trying to sneak things past readers :3
(no subject) - mercurysblood - Mar. 31st, 2008 02:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mercurysblood - Mar. 31st, 2008 02:49 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Mar. 31st, 2008 04:30 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 30th, 2008 02:37 pm (UTC)
I laughed out loud at Zhao's 'In the Earth Kingdom??!?' face. And your Iroh really is perfect in characterisation.
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you- I'm never quite sure if I do justice to Iroh. Touch and go, and if I am too wrong people will correct me.
He he, Zhao holds no love for the earth kingdom. Perhaps even racist towards the "dirt benders".
Mar. 30th, 2008 03:21 pm (UTC)
Excellent pacing, very engaging pictures. I especially love the look on Zhao's face when he realizes he's struck a nerve and finally has a little leverage. Iroh, bless his dear heart, is right to worry about influences on that man.

(Iroh's expression when he's reminding Zhao of his loyalties seems a little too...mild? I'm not sure. It hits me funny. That's the only odd note, though. Overall, very smooth and enjoyable!)

Oh, and for the record: I've got an old Beatles tape in the deck, and "Yellow Submarine" started playing towards the second half of these. Perfect timing for the FULL SPEED AHEAD and clanking noises just as Zhao's ship pulled out of harbor. XD
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC)
Iroh has all the reason in the world to be worried- he knows Zhao more than Zhao knows himself.
Hmmm...I guess Iroh does have a mild look, but he's not angry- just stern. Maybe I should have made him frown a bit more...
Ha ha, gotta love it when the music synchs up with images.
(no subject) - tobu_ishi - Mar. 31st, 2008 12:16 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Mar. 31st, 2008 04:38 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tobu_ishi - Mar. 31st, 2008 04:48 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 30th, 2008 03:23 pm (UTC)
You can never go wrong with Extra Added Iroh.

Or back-view of Fire Lord Zuko. O:D

Mar. 30th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)
Extra added Iroh- good for the health :D
Firelord back-view, we still need more study on the advantage to the health. But it doesn't hurt.
Mar. 30th, 2008 06:48 pm (UTC)
Excellent stuff, but in your comment when you referred to "the last part" did you mean "final" or "previous"?
Mar. 30th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
I realised I wasn't being clear (tired brains and all).
That would be a change of ending for the final final part, part 4. The real ending and not a chapter ending. Apologies about that.
Mar. 31st, 2008 01:45 am (UTC)
The "I am going back to Ba Sing Se" bit is especially great because it's such a tonal shift, it's funny, and it's so in character for Iroh too.
Mar. 31st, 2008 04:36 am (UTC)
Iroh is fun for that; deadly serious one moment, and quickly becoming happy-enthusiastic seconds later.
(no subject) - snapes_angel - Apr. 4th, 2008 05:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
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