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For your review (04)

More Water Tribe revisions.
Not much has changed this time around- just trying to "prettify" some panels, but not much.
One page added.

Need to return to work this afternoon. Then start revisions on Monday, hop on a plane Tuesday and home for the holidays with the parents on Saturday.


( 37 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 16th, 2007 08:48 pm (UTC)
oooOOOOooo! Fire bending hasn't completely abandoned him!
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:03 pm (UTC)
It's a hint that it's still in him, deep inside. He can't have conscious access to it, so no firebending.
(That will frustrate him to no end later on).
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:04 pm (UTC)
Lovely. I really like the sense of slumped movement you've got in the molebear.
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
I was looking at polar bears documentary yesterday. I tried to capture some of that, but exagerate it at the same time since they do look different (molebears have much shorter legs)

Edited at 2007-12-16 09:55 pm (UTC)
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:22 pm (UTC)
I am a huge fan of his fabulous full beard and stache. I am also amazed at how refined and lovely you make these look in just black and white. The details also aren't distracting... like... you have ice cracks and shards all over the place, but they're never too much and they always translate into background and don't distract from the characters in the scene. Love the firebending, too. His expression is great.
Dec. 16th, 2007 09:58 pm (UTC)
You're a fan of his full facial hair? Heehee! Most comments in the past was that we couldn't wait for him to shave (yeah, me too- full beard Zhao feels weird).
I feel like I should have put more ice fragments when he fell...ah well. If it reads clearly, is all that counts.
Thank yoooou!
Dec. 16th, 2007 10:02 pm (UTC)
Dec. 16th, 2007 10:18 pm (UTC)
I don't think he quite understood what just happened. Could have been...ICE BURN!
(does that even exist? Well, maybe not like that)
(no subject) - reginleif42 - Dec. 17th, 2007 12:07 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 16th, 2007 10:33 pm (UTC)
Believe me, I was thinking zombies too. Zhao would just crush their heads with the warclub!
(I don't know how fast zombies move in deep snow-freezing weather).

Believe me, I wish I had the time to do all these in colors. But I'm a slow slow colorist, and the daytime job, and... *sigh*. Maybe I'll go back and color a few when I'm all done, for the fun of it. But right now, not in my plans.
Zhao needs to kill things to keep his stess level down. Doctor's orders ;)

Edited at 2007-12-16 10:33 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - rufftoon - Dec. 18th, 2007 02:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - rufftoon - Dec. 19th, 2007 04:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - rufftoon - Dec. 19th, 2007 09:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 16th, 2007 10:35 pm (UTC)
Still love that "Whatcha doin' up here?" footnote. So much. O:D
Dec. 16th, 2007 10:46 pm (UTC)
I was actually considering dropping that footnote, but just couldn't. Now I'm glad I kept it. :D
Dec. 16th, 2007 11:04 pm (UTC)
I like the little details like the ulu knife!
Dec. 16th, 2007 11:11 pm (UTC)
Ulu knife added for extra local flavor. I'm slowly discovering how these little things can add to a world.
Dec. 17th, 2007 12:36 am (UTC)
Hehe, the "whatcha doin'?" line is still there--! :D Is it just me, or is Zhao more beardly in this pass?

Also, the last text box should read, "OR make you fall INTO their deep tunnels."
Dec. 17th, 2007 01:24 am (UTC)
Zhao does appear more beardy in the cleanup version. Go figure.
Ooh, good catch. Will correct the text. Thank you for that.
Dec. 17th, 2007 03:30 am (UTC)
I love that you've reversed the polar bear vs. seal dynamic. Normally polar bears sit on the ice and wait for seals to pop out of holes and swat them with their paws (killing an 800 pound seal with one blow), but here you've reversed it.
Dec. 17th, 2007 03:59 am (UTC)
I thought it would be freakier having a big nasty carnivore jumping out of the ice at you.
Aw man, and Zhao is far from being 800 pounds. One swat of that paw would end him in pieces!
Dec. 17th, 2007 06:37 pm (UTC)
Awesome, it's all awesome! Zhaoka's beard looks more "real" (and awesome) than the first one, it reminds me of Wang Fire too. ;) In a good way!
Dec. 17th, 2007 09:48 pm (UTC)
Nothing beats the Wang Fire beard! But I'm glad the second version seems to have more approval. Many thanks!
Dec. 17th, 2007 08:29 pm (UTC)
May I ask if you're planning to make the clean version available as a paper comic eventually? On the Web if possible, for those of us who live in the good old Kingdom That Is United?
Because I, for one, would be willing to buy a copy. Although I'm not sure how copyright laws would work.........
Dec. 17th, 2007 09:47 pm (UTC)
That's as clean as it's ever going to be, I'm afraid. I can't put much more time on this (day job being against it).
I was planning to do a little mini comic of part one - a paper version, but I wouldn't be able to sell them. As you said, it would be against copyright. It would be another "throwing money down the well" endeavor, and very limited edition.
I'll see about that. IF it ever does happen, you can bet it will be mentionned on this blog.
In the meantime, the updated version appears in an esier to browse through version on Deviant Art at the noselfcontrol club:
(no subject) - xahra99 - Dec. 17th, 2007 10:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 18th, 2007 06:56 pm (UTC)
They'll maul you with their huge claws or make you fall... lol. Other than that... *snicker* If they can kill you only one of the two ways, that is.

"Come out, you stupid animal! I'm cold and I need to kill something!" *snicker*
Dec. 19th, 2007 04:32 pm (UTC)
Yeah, me bad. That got corrected on the DA page, so all good.
Sharp eyes like yours always appreciated, since mine (and the brains they are connected too), seem to be working on slow gears from time to time.
(no subject) - snapes_angel - Dec. 19th, 2007 05:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 19th, 2007 01:39 am (UTC)
The only grammatical error I have found was already mentioned by snapes_angel. :P

Is one of the frames from the molebear's point of view? That was really cool. And Zhao's subconscious firebending looks way cooler than the previous version.
Dec. 19th, 2007 04:34 pm (UTC)
Many thanks! Yup, one of the frame is from below the ice. I don't know if the firebending looks cooler, but it certainly reads a bit clearer...I hope!
(no subject) - takumee - Dec. 20th, 2007 12:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Dec. 20th, 2007 03:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 25th, 2007 12:47 am (UTC)
Just discovered your Water Tribe Zhao, and oh man, LADY YOU CRAFT A FINE STORY. The suspense, it kills me D:
(Deleted comment)
Re: AH! - rufftoon - Jan. 3rd, 2008 08:10 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 3rd, 2008 05:11 am (UTC)
I love your stuff! I just read the whole Water Tribe collection in one sitting and I kind of fell in love with it, so I'm friending you. :)
Jan. 3rd, 2008 08:09 am (UTC)
Thank you very much!
Glad to have you along for the ride- there's a part four slowly building up as I do revisions on the first three parts. (especially one and two needs some rework)
( 37 comments — Leave a comment )

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