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Trying to stay awake- the humidiheat in Montreal is sapping my energy more than I thought, plus I have the work contract to move forward on on top of the day job. I may have to ask for a slight extension to get everything done nicely.

Haven't forgotten about the Water Tribe thing. Heck, it's even starting to make me itch to really really make a nice version of it (after work, after all the work!!).

Most of you have read a good chunk of it so far, so I'm curious to hear your opinions on a few points:

Should I add more little "slice of life" back at the North Pole (part one). or keep it possibly as is?

Should I expand a bit more about the time back in the Fire Nation, be it with the citizens or the army training?

Anything you read that felt akward, a bit too rushed or too slow, let me know.
Please note that some more or less loose plot points I'll try to adress in the near future.

No new pages, but I was inspired of thinking of cover ideas after seeing alexds3 has done.
Very quick roughs, done with a messy 4B pencil and a sandwich in the other hand...


( 31 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 2nd, 2007 06:23 pm (UTC)
Re: slice of life... Add in the Baby Turtle-Seal Massacre, perhaps? Otherwise, I think it fits pretty well as it is. I mean, I want to see more of Nauja, but that's sort of different... O:>

You probably don't need more Fire Nation stuff, but adding a tad more of army training/army on leave wouldn't hurt it, either. Perhaps a little more showing him sinking back into, well, prior habits. Probably not urgent, though.

*squees at the cover* Yeah, that last one is definitely a spoileresque thing...

Aug. 2nd, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
I wonder about the baby turte seals- darn tempting, but it was first done as a joke and I don't know if it would break the whole mood. Hmmm...
Was thinking of adding a bit more army training- felt I skimmed over that pretty fast. Too fast perhaps.
Thanks for your feedback!
(no subject) - archangelbeth - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 2nd, 2007 06:34 pm (UTC)
I don't think a back to Water Tribe is needed, or Fire nation unless you are looking to show how things are different than the canon world, then some substance is needed. In that vein, you could also show some Earth nation, like have the boat stop off there or something.

The political part with going over the pirates and stuff seemed a bit dry, IMO. Not bad, but the pace deffinently changed. Which might be what you were going for, of course.

My favorite part so far has been the bear hunt, BTW.
Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC)
Oooh, interesting thought there- Zhao had to ride an Earth Kingdom merchant ship before cathing another bound to the fire nation. Could be interesting to show more of that world, 3 years after the war. Could also establish that he has no fondness for the Earth Kingdoms.

The pace with the pirates is just about to pick up - hopefully, some of the dryness will lift.

Got to fix part of the molebear hunt. A few angles here and there...
Thanks for the suggestions :)
(no subject) - jkivela - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jkivela - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jkivela - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jkivela - Aug. 2nd, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 2nd, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
While I know you're probably getting a wide range of feedback I'll just lay down my opinion.

The only big change I think you could go for would be to add more "slice of life" for the Water Tribe in the beginning. Maybe have a bit more of an introduction to Zhao, where you may see some watertribe man walking across the icy plains, or scaling some ice, and you continue to frollow him but never see his face until you finally you do when he reaches his destination, that way you get the: "OMG! It's Zhao!" factor which I think would be nice :)

I simply adore the covers, though for the last one, I think it might be cool if the two fish are bigger, (reaching the edge of the page) and the shots of Zhao and the chick inside of the circle they form. (I will leave her name unstated just in case) XD

Wonderful job!
Aug. 2nd, 2007 09:15 pm (UTC)
Your thoughts echo my own. I could go the lazy way, but adding more of Zhao in the water tribe would give more of a "he's settled there", and go in the direction Alexds1 mentionned.
I could adapt your idea, and fit it in with the baby turtle seal hunt ;)
Hmmm, good points on the last cover- I'll give it a try.
Hmmm, wonder how many people will not guess right who the other character on the fourth cover is.
(no subject) - gigabomb - Aug. 2nd, 2007 10:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Aug. 2nd, 2007 11:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 2nd, 2007 08:20 pm (UTC)
XD Dang it I couldn't resist looking... I'm spoiled! But also excited... I like that the circle theme is repeated on the covers in different ways, hope you keep that on the finals! Are you planning on tightening up the pages eventually or just printing them as is? Also I'm excited about there being 4 parts, last time I think you mentioned 3.

If you were going to expand at all I'd like seeing more about the water tribe part, maybe the little ways that people treat Zhaoka differently that make him try so hard to fit in... if for no other reason than his experiences there influence him to make him a lot different from the old, more ruthless Zhao.
Aug. 2nd, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
I would love to tighten/fix/clean those pages up more. The question is time. Still, doesn't hurt to start planning ahead (oooh, so tempted to go to APE next year, Flight Explorer will just have been out :))
I just added another part, as the present ending I have in mind, though it works, still felt like a few more elements needed closure.
Agreed about adding a few more water tribe parts- he needs more of these, to show some changes have happened, that he has been influenced by them. It makes all the rest more plausible.
(no subject) - alexds1 - Aug. 3rd, 2007 12:24 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rufftoon - Aug. 3rd, 2007 01:53 am (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 2nd, 2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
Wow, the covers look really cool.
They don't look rough to me. :)

I think that the army part was a bit confusing, especially the part about Azula and the random guy who attacked Zhao.

I really loved the baby seal turtle part. Sadistic fun.
Aug. 2nd, 2007 11:10 pm (UTC)
Hmmm...you are right. That portion does feel a bit rough around the edges. Can be reworked more efficiently.
Guess the baby turtle seals part will have to stay, the vote is rather positive for that sequence (we're just a bunch of maniacs!) :D
Aug. 2nd, 2007 11:21 pm (UTC)
Woo! I finally got to sit down and catch up with your Water Tribe stuff! I won't annoy you with a barrage of comments, but just wanted to say it's really great. I've been enjoying it throughout, and I'm always so impressed. The characterizations are excellent and the layout and pacing work so well. And there are loads of wonderful little details (like the Avatar statue in Lao's quarters) that just add so much. Even though it's a simple story, your thought and care put into it really show!

I quite like these covers. There's a good sense of the tone and ideas for each book, and the range of compositions keeps it interesting. I've been working on cover images for my own stuff at the moment, so it's nice to see your sketches here.
Aug. 2nd, 2007 11:35 pm (UTC)
Wow, thanks for reading the whole thing so far, very appreciated.
Ooh, you noticed the little airbender statue. Yay! What can I say, Lao is a collector and art lover.
Will have to drop by your journal, see if you posted any cover sketchies :)
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 3rd, 2007 05:08 am (UTC)
She's usually pretty good at getting what she wants. As for what role Zhao plays in those plans of hers...
Aug. 3rd, 2007 05:47 am (UTC)
I really, REALLY like the first cover. Lyke, OMG, hits the note of that chapter so well.

You COULD do more of the Water Tribe part, since it's always interesting to see how Zhao sticks out. I think you hit it on the head with the Fire Nation, although if you wanted to add more, I don't think ANYONE would complain.

Really, you spoil us with these comics, and if you DO make a nice version, I hope you'll put it in a place more widely appreciated (instead of LJ), because both you and Zhao are worthy of some applause.
Aug. 3rd, 2007 05:55 am (UTC)
All these pages are all a little rough around the edges, art and storywise. Heh, that's why they are thumbnails. I will definitely have to flesh out a few more things. I am sooo tempted to do something nice with them. No time for the full colour treatment though. What a shame.
We'll see about putting it somewhere else. I kinda like the low-key, less stressfull and less traffic this is getting. Feels more...manageable I guess. I mean, I do these purely for fun, and no other reasons (and getting Zhao off my back)
Aug. 8th, 2007 01:01 pm (UTC)
Awesome rough cover ideas..as for the Water Tribe AU..well, I am very easily satisfied and your comic doesn't really seem rushed at all..maybe a little more Water Tribe moments to highlight Zhao's struggle for acceptance and same too for the Fire Nation..maybe a little more input about his family? But really it's brilliant so far..
Aug. 8th, 2007 04:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Seems pretty much everyone agrees on adding a bit more Water Tribe interaction. Got an idea or two floating in my head, one demanding re-use of the baby Turtle-Seal massacre.
Some animal activists are going to hate me for it.
(no subject) - rock_rhapsody - Aug. 9th, 2007 10:36 am (UTC) - Expand
( 31 comments — Leave a comment )

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